Tale of the Intellectual Harlot

There was once a whore who wanted much more

Than a career in spreading her thighs;

She thought she recognised a customer disguised

By the feel (she was wrong) of his size.

“Are you Kamaldin?” “No, I’m Aladdin.”

“Aaaah!” she gasped, “I won’t charge you if you’ll

Make me - easy, my boy - an intellectual.”



And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day

And ceased to say her permitted say.



At the NGO the donors then became her new owners

Who asked her to denounce the Caliphate,

Sing democracy’s praise, and their secular ways,

And to parrot that laissez-faire wasn’t great!

And before each meeting she observed

That the rights of women must be preserved!



And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day

And ceased to say her permitted say.





But her bottom would smart just as when she was a tart

From the sitting position she used;

And her mouth would be sore like it used to before

While some flaccid old fool stood amused.

So she wanted her honesty back

And let Aladdin have one more whack!



And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day

And ceased to say her permitted say.

John Maynard Keynes and the Bangladeshi intellectual

Keynes: "When the facts change, I change my mind. What do you do, sir?"

Bangladeshi intellectual: "I...er...wait for...er...the western donors...to tell me..er...if I should change...my mind...or if...er...."